escaping mundanity & normalcy..

[happy.. holiday..]
[sad.. something else..]
[argh.. not a very good morning..]

why is this happening to me?? haiz..
should i blog this thing down?? if i do it.. will she notice
it when she pop in to read?? maybe she never even
notice what i've been feeling inside for so long.. maybe
to her.. i'm just another friend.. someone who talk with
her when she's bored.. someone to play game with when
she is bored.. someone who send those sms greetings to
her once in a while.. when she have somehow holds an
important place in my heart.. blame it to myself to come
to this situation.. blame it solely on me.. myself.. and no
one else..

she is not feeling good now.. that's make me feel the same
too.. i always hope she will be happy.. ok.. that's sound so
silly of me right?? i'm just this hopeless when comes to this
matter of heart things.. the most hopeless thing i'm doing now
is to find words of comfort.. while i'm feeling hurt in my heart
the same time.. argh!!!!! nevermind about this.. i'm just a
hopeless guy..

i'm pretty sure those who knew me quite well and reading this
is shaking their head again.. i know what i'm doing my friends..
no worries. i've grow up.. 25 years old.. no longer that extreme
hopeless guy in my poly years.. i'll try to get over this.. i'll try..

suppose to be sleeping at this moment.. my nice weekend plus
long holiday.. nevermind.. there's still tomorrow to make it up..

work the whole day yesterday (Saturday).. no choice.. i'm not
born with a silver spoon.. i've to make myself work this extra
bit.. i can't turned myself into a loath.. i've to fight my laziness..
i don't want to add anymore burden to my family..

ok.. i'm really not in good mood.. help me??!!

hmm.. Thursday and Friday was fine.. went to meet up with my
friends at Boat Quay straight after work on Friday.. wanted to
write something here.. but nevermind.. as usual.. went to Wet &
Whistle.. i'm earlier than the rest again.. sat there waiting for the
rest to arrive.. got question by the waitress there about am i really
drunk on last Friday.. hee.. honestly.. i'm drunk loh.. but not to the
extend that i need someone to carry me home.. i still can walk in a
proper manner without support.. one of the waitress named Pat
said it was no fun.. cause didn't manage to make me drop.. well..
actually i could easily drop.. if i'm drinking in this current mood..
but i'll drop because i'm drunk.. it's because i want to drop.. that's
me.. my form of escaping from reality.. be strong..

meet up with my poly friends after work last evening (Saturday)..
Adeline.. the birthday girl's treat.. had our dinner at Lemon Grass..
the one at Heeren.. Thai food.. hmm.. ok loh.. been quite some time
since i touch Thai food.. quite nice i would say.. cost a bomb too.. more
than what i paid at CPK.. hehehe.. wanted to relax at TCC Cineleisure..
but it's kind of crowded.. move over to TCC Paradiz.. not a very good
encounter there.. kind of unpleasant.. went to play pool at Snookerium
at the basement.. well.. kind of lousy.. keep losing.. well.. i'm not really
that good anyway.. hahaha.. of course i'll lose..

went to MacDonald ECP after that.. sat there.. continue to talk cock
again.. planned to go Sunset Bay this morning.. but the response is
quite poor.. give up the idea.. sad.. thought of getting myself tanned
again during this weekend.. cannot liao.. nevermind.. still got other
chance..

ok.. i'm typing this for more than an hour.. was chatting and writing
this at the same time.. planned to meet up with the guys again in
the afternoon.. but still don't have any confirmation yet.. just rot at
home for the time being..

my earliest blog entry so far.. time now is 14.11hr Singapore.. got to
finish this and go for my lunch.. my dad just finish cooking the noodle..
kind of full at the moment.. had quite a late breakfast just now.. oh yah..
almost forgotten.. i won the feat against pineapple rice at Lemon Grass
last night.. haha.. successfully clinched my title at the King of Rice again..
hmm.. no pineapple rice for me for these coming weeks.. hahaha..
TaKe CaRE!!

anyone have medicine for the heart?
my heart is bleeding..

walkingtarts awake and ranted on 8/08/2004 12:54:00 PM