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why have i choose this topic today?
well, i did something wrong. all cause by my own nature.. it all begins quite some time ago.. got to know this gal through MIRC.. begin to chat with her quite often. sharing her woes and joys.. unknowingly, i'm attracted to her.. as in character.. unbelievable right? but it's true.. i'm someone who get attracted to another person by one's bore character easily.. don't ask me why.. it just happen.. (this is also the same reason how i get into my first ever relationship many years ago) okay, let's continue.. attracted to her.. i tried many times to ask her.. everytime, it is like so near, yet so far.. always something crops up in between.. nobodys at fault.. just that the timing isn't right.. recently, after came back from my oversea trip.. we get back to our frequent chats again.. and also met up.. things proceed one after another.. i express myself.. she seems a little hesitate about the whole thing.. in one of our meeting.. we were talking about relationship.. she use examples to describe about some things.. which i will not get into details with it.. from the conversation, i could sense that both of us are like a world apart.. although we may have this little feeling for one another.. think it's my naivity.. i keep holding this thought that everything will be put in place if i do my upmost best in everything.. hardworks indeed reap rewards.. but i ruin it with my own hand.. details about what i did.. i do not wish to disclose.. my own stupidity destroys me.. i do not know whether what awaits me tomorrow.. future.. i do not know if she will ever forgive me.. ever pop in to read this.. i know.. no matter how much "sorry" i can say.. how much explanation i try to make.. it's too late.. so, i'm prepared.. in any case you still can't forgive me.. i'm ready to let it go.. easy? never easy.. but do i have a choice? it's better to suffer for some time.. than to let the whole thing keeps dragging.. only to hurt both of us more.. whatever decision you have decided.. i'll respect it anyway.. Thousands of sorrys, can't change a mistake made. A single mistake, easily created thousands scars. walkingtarts awake and ranted on 1/14/2004 11:06:00 PM |
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