escaping mundanity & normalcy..

Been quite some times..
quite busy lately.. with my works..
with my friends..
finally the most tedious days are gone..
all my current jobs are complete..
gonna say goodbye to overtime!!!!

it has been more than a month since i'm back..
seems like time is going in quite a slow pace..
been chatting with many friends i've miss
contacting when i'm away..
receive some feedback.. which one i found
quite contradicting.. Changes..

how much have i change?
i couldn't measured it myself..
only through what you people told me..
the most common one that i've been
receiving.. should be that i've meadow
down.. must be wondering what it means
right? hahaha.. i'll try my best to explain..

some times before.. me.. still into
occasional clubbing and drinking..
late nights.. ear deafening Technos..
half conscious mind.. welcome by headaches
and nothing else when i wake up on weekends..
been an occasional clubber.. it's enough to
burn a hole on my wallet.. i'm neither well off..
nor having a job at that period of time.. only
after a certain incident.. that i sober a little,
then i get myself a part-time job.. but
partying just did not stop there..

the dramatic changes that taken place..
is when i'm in Thailand..
the true force that determine me to make such
a decision is LONELINESS..
only through that lengthly 14 months..
i cut down my alcohol consumption..
only at that period of time.. i've been truly awake..

starts to hate the feeling of waking up the
next day.. with only headaches and sore throats
accompany me.. starts to reason with myself..
does alcohol makes me happier??
my answer? No.. well, it indeed makes one
look like happier.. but in fact.. i found that it
actually only numbed my mind... retard my brain
from working at the moment of consuming these
colourful fluid.. most of all.. i'm suffering from the
side effects of frequent late nights and alcohol..
which a few of my friends know.. those who are
really observant enough.. can really see it
happen.. Lucky for me.. i did not pick up another
habit that can always goes hand in hand with
drinking.. that's smoking.. if not, i believe i won't
live for more than 40 years...

back to my changes..
well, some of you must have been trying hard to
believe that i've turn into this way.. wondering
what had really happen to the guy who always
will b the first to agree to join with the rest for
clubbing.. the guy who supply loads of Techno
MP3s to the rest.. the guy who seems to be
able to get the newest.....
well.. his gone.. quietly retired..
he had enough of these colourful lifestyle..

now.. i only want to get everything of me to
be in a orderly manner.. to get back into
clubbing is not that impossible.. but
definitely won't be anytime so soon..
really hope i could hold on to this for
as long as i could..
So that for once, i could make firm with
my own decision..

"Changes happens in every moment,
face it with acceptance, or
accepting with force..
Either way, changes are made to be accept."

that's by me..
for those hardcore, stubborn by nature people..
what i can say is..
Changes happen.. if u try to make any more changes..
it's doesn't matter much..
Coz, it's no long the same as what it is before the
changes occurs..

walkingtarts awake and ranted on 1/12/2004 11:44:00 PM

ChAnGeS