escaping mundanity & normalcy..

[Beverly Craven - Promise Me]

troubled..

what will you do when you found that you
have a slight different perception with
majority of the people around? those that
you often mingled with..

follow the crowd? or hold on to your own?
choosing the latter.. looks odd one out..
but in personal term.. holding on to my
own.. I see a long term goal archieving..

perhaps I find something that keeps me
going.. while they have other thoughts..

perhaps being slightly older than the rest
of them.. I understand the need to change..
the need to accept..

perhaps it's because they are young.. they
can afford to make mistakes.. where they
have less worries losing what they have..

perhaps it's because I'm afraid of losing
what I'm having now.. this fear has actually
built the determination to work hard.. yet
slowly ostracise from the others..

my boss came to have a little pep talk with
two of my fellow colleagues and me this
afternoon.. something encouraging.. which
I'm pretty happy about..

receiving feedbacks from different level of
personnels in the department.. good..

"you guys are heading on the right track..
keep up the good work. influence the others
with the attitude.. not the other way round.."

this seems to be serve as a reminder to us..
which I kind of understand.. because the
three of us had already set a benchmark for
others to follow..

but the problem is.. of the three of us.. only
I am looking forward on a longer term in this
place.. and like the others.. the two of them
are not prepare to see that as a goal..

wonder.. by next August.. how many of the
current clique still be together..??

changes do happen.. don't they? =)

on a lighter note.. I'm edging closer to achieve
what I set out to.. on the right track..

next on.. been feeling weird lately.. sudden
inability to speak up.. the flood of thoughts..
uncontrollable.. hesistation.. things just seems
to jumble up.. then jumps in all direction..
to simplify it.. just plain messy..

the above paragraph can be ignored.. because
I don't seems to understand what I write too..

deep in the thoughts of certain someone..

TaKe CaRE!!

walkingtarts awake and ranted on 3/29/2006 10:14:00 PM

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

[smile..]

smile in the beginning of the day..
let the curve lift your mood up for
the rest of the day.. =)

got to start working.. cya!!

TaKe CaRE!!

walkingtarts awake and ranted on 3/28/2006 07:01:00 AM

Sunday, March 26, 2006

[enemy is.. myself]

recieved a call from my colleague this
morning.. was told that the production
target was met.. and need not turn up
for work in the evening.. but to report
back to work on Monday morning..

good to have a rest after working for
so many days.. but there goes for my
3 days of night shift allowance..!!

went to attend Fire Safety awareness
course on Thursday.. had to go all the
way to Gul Way for it.. -_-" so far..

joined my colleagues for KTV at The
One later in the evening.. kind of like a
last minute decision.. but had some fun
with them.. =D

went back to work the next day to cover
the duty of my colleague.. feeling rather
tired.. and same for the next day..

human's greatest enemy is oneself..
ok.. I'm not the one who originate this..
someone told me is Dalai Lama.. why am
I saying this?? something seems to bother
me.. simple as thing can be.. to make or to
break.. is just in one's mind.. procrastination
seems to be the weakness in me.. always has
been.. wonder how could I break through
this barrier??

still ongoing with my holiday planning.. seems
like progressing pretty slowly.. hopefully can
confirm everything within this 2 weeks.. the
drained feeling seems to get a little more as
each day passes..

coming Friday will be the company year start
party at Swissotel.. somewhat looking forward
to it.. but not what after.. no specific plan in
mind.. some says M.O.S after the party.. while
some going back to JB for their own activities..
perhaps I might end up going home in this
situation.. since nowhere to go.. but of all this..
really hope it will be a enjoyable event..

I'm working hard.. striving to perform.. trying
to save.. yet so aimless in other aspect of me..
it's always the case whereby.. you tell yourself
you won't feel this way.. do this thing.. but often
as it may be.. you will end up feeling this way..
doing this thing.. but you just can't help it.. why?

perhaps I should resume my morning routine
that I've stop practising for quite some time..
brush.. gargle.. smile..

TaKe CaRE!!

walkingtarts awake and ranted on 3/26/2006 09:35:00 PM

Thursday, March 16, 2006

[林俊杰 - 原来]

on night shift today.. suppose to be
sleeping now.. but can't.. I'm no pig..
can't possibly sleep continuously for
so many hours.. maybe catch a little
nap later..

went KTV with my colleagues after
work on Tuesday.. I must say I'm
truely impressed by Eddy.. he seems
to able to sing songs that we need to
scream or shout effortlessly.. the way
he project his voice.. amazing.. and
also Soon's.. they make a great pair
singing Powerstation's songs.. haa..

it was just fun.. fun.. and fun..

how to handle a feminine male?? not
that I've a lot of prejudices.. but I
can't seems to make myself tolerate
such personality.. especially when I'm
teaching him something.. I'm OK with
girls making a fuss.. complaining.. and
whining.. (no offend.. but true..) but I
can't tolerate a guy that do that.. and
never in work!! worst of all.. he got to
be in the same team as me..!! why do
I always got to be in the same team as
people that can boiled my blood??!! a
special kind of training ar???

when friendship is put to test.. it is only
when we find out how fragile we are..

when character is put to test.. it is only
when we find out how wrong we are..

when our mind is put to test.. it is only
when we find out how weak we are..

but no matter how fragile.. how wrong..
how weak.. there's always more than it
meet an eye.. one says looking at the
bright side of life.. the other says there
are greener pastures on the other side..
I say..

happiness is not what things you want it
to turn out to be.. but the work you put
on it.. at the end of the day.. you can tell
yourself proudly that.. I've done my best..

TaKe CaRE!!

walkingtarts awake and ranted on 3/16/2006 12:16:00 PM

Sunday, March 12, 2006

[张惠妹 - 我要快乐？]

for more than a decade ago.. I reached the
summit of Bukit Timah Hill.. physically
drained.. and filthy.. on the plus side.. it's
fun to do all the foolish stuffs way back in
our secondary school days..

today.. even though wasn't really in a good
physical condition.. legs kind of feeling sore
when I wake up in the morning.. but still
manage to complete the hike without much
effort.. perhaps been mentally prepared
actually helps a lot..

it's a good form of exercise for every once
in a while.. but I doubt will have another
hike in recent.. as most of them are pretty
shagged out after descended..

went IT Show again yesterday to get my
wireless router.. which had already set up
by my brother.. finally get to multi-task
between watching TV and surfing the web
at the same place liao.. and no longer a
need to fight for a computer.. when each
of us have one of our own now..

have anyone ever thought of actually, how
many sides do you actually have? or in
another term.. personalities..? I always
believe everyone have multiple personalities..
each personality performs on it's very own
stage.. the one that is most suitable.. typically,
the personalities between work and social
life.. they don't usually meet..

another type which is also quite common
between peoples.. the personality you show
with different types of people.. in serious
cases.. this might be branded as hypocrisy..
but at certain extend.. this is deem necessary..

then which is your true personality?? well..
this might not be applied to all.. but quite for
myself.. is the personality I feel comfortable..
laidback.. where personal defense level is at
extremely low..

the will to win is in everyone's mind.. the will
to compete.. the will to succeed.. thus, come
comparisons.. when everyone try means and
ways to outwit each other in the rat race..

too eager to perform may sometimes backfired..
I've tasted once or twice.. or perhaps upteen
times.. that's why I muster the courage to use
3 words many people forget or afraid to use..

"I don't know"

some people might feel their dignity been hurt
by using these 3 words.. but there's a single
word that people feel gutted just to say it out..

"Sorry"

admitting a mistake is not really a big deal..
cast the pride or dignity aside..

through mistakes we learnt..

I've seen and getting tired of seeing others
trying very hard to impress others.. to get
recognised.. but we can't possibly dictate
over their behavior right?

I hope I can remember at times.. not to
take my pride and dignity too hard.. the
harder may falled..

this remind me of something ash wrote on
her blog some time back..

"when you have less expectations..
you'll have less disappoints.."

TaKe CaRE!!

walkingtarts awake and ranted on 3/12/2006 03:55:00 PM

Saturday, March 11, 2006

[Alanis Morissette - You Learn]

was watching out the window while brushing
my teeth earlier.. the moon wasn't full.. but
was rather big.. seldom seen the moon close
to earth for quite some time.. kind of feeling
peaceful within.. don't know why..

it's 4.00a.m now.. just got home.. was out for
practically the whole day.. went swimming in
the late morning.. or noon actually.. did not
swim for long.. a little over 1 hour thats all..
only completed 8 laps.. but unable to carry on,
as skin on my right arm began to peel off..
looks really bad.. applied moisturiser on the
affected areas as soon as I got home.. damage
control seems to work as for now..

went IT Show @ Suntec in the evening.. saw
Delson.. my Thai camp buddy.. compared to
last year event.. it seems rather small.. nothing
much to browse.. just get some brochures for
my cousin and brochures on router for myself..
should be getting it tomorrow..

lack of update for the past week.. was away
from home over the weekend.. Leo's chalet
started on Friday.. sending Chu off for his
final semester in Oz later in the night..

BBQ on Saturday.. went over to my Sis's chalet
to meet up with my parents at Downtown East,
before coming back to join them again..

it's been almost half a year since we last had
chalet.. unwind.. relax.. never enough..

work has been fine.. except that I seems to be
losing patient with my work partner lately.. I
know the fact that no one is perfect.. neither am
I.. but for someone who has been working for so
many years.. I expect him to pick up and really
understand his work well.. usually what we think
are seldom turn out that way.. maybe I should
pick up Tagalog.. because he only seems to listen
to people speaking this language.. or people who
are associate with the 'S' word.. namely 'senior'
and 'supervisor'.. I'm just 'ST'.. perhaps in his
eyes.. I'm just a lowly S-hole..

nevermind this.. because the worst is still yet to
come.. soon in fact.. the month of April.. where I
got to work with not one.. but two.. will I be able
to survive this ordeal?? 1 whole freaking month
to endure through.. interesting indeed.. some of
my colleagues are laughing away.. none of them
are as lucky as me..

still thinking of the moon.. but it's covered by the
clouds now.. yet still remember image clearly..
enchanting.. mesmerising.. peace..

TaKe CaRE

walkingtarts awake and ranted on 3/11/2006 04:01:00 AM