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I always know that I'm not someone who can really appease a boss.. for I can never understand or learn the "art of hardworking workers".. though I can't really say I have vast of working experiences.. but I still can see them for myself.. making myself look busy is not my forte.. what's worst.. bosses only like to see things on the surface.. those with the exotic art skills.. benefits most.. perhaps.. it's my stubborness.. or be it my laziness.. that's something I can't possibly force myself to be one.. never before.. or in the future.. brought up something that I shouldn't really brought up during work earlier.. was chatting with one of my operator.. and she brought those up.. though still manage to put up a brave front.. deep inside.. the feeling of hurt is so close.. so real.. on my road to recovery.. hitting a halt suddenly leads me nowhere to go.. I know I can figure a way out.. I know I will be fine.. I know.. it's a fall that I am walking up from.. nobody can help me.. except myself.. nobody.. just need time.. fast or slow.. I know I will find the source of light to guide me to the brighter side.. I know I can.. I will.. because my optimism tells me so.. TaKe CaRE!! walkingtarts awake and ranted on 9/26/2005 10:55:00 PM
[Energy - 眼泪的味道] what a tiring week.. started my rotating shift work pattern already.. after consecutive 4 days of 12 hours shift.. really drained my energy level to a new low.. brain almost switched off entirely after work.. replies become rather slow.. or in another word.. retarded.. Suz jio the rest of us for dinner at Orchard on Wednesday after work.. saying that Leo is craving for baked pasta at Coffee Club.. but in actual fact.. he is getting himself the phone that he is craving for.. the black Motorola V3.. =p but still we had our dinner at Coffee Club.. and he did ordered the baked pasta.. went home after the dinner.. while the rest head for soya bean curd at Selegie.. brain switching off mah.. missed my tennis session on Friday.. wasn't really in condition to play tennis after a long day at work.. went home instead.. but still meet up with them on Saturday after work.. Wee giving us a treat before he fly over to Udon Thani again.. went PartyWorld after the dinner.. another crazy singing session.. looking at Wee's eyes.. he must be quite disappointed.. because I felt that he really want to club.. as Leo, Suz and me don't feel like going.. he have to cater a programme that accomodate all of us.. if you are reading this.. I really got to apologise.. not that I don't want to give if face.. but that I'm really too tired and really don't want to club.. really really really.. pai seh.. another long week coming up.. looking at my next consecutive 5 long days.. and to start my month long of night shift on that fateful Sunday too.. I'm really giving myself a little doubt on how am I going to endure this through.. perhaps only to look forward to the pay that I'll be receiving after all the hard work.. my little steps to what I want.. the greatest motivation for this coming week most probably is my payday.. hehe.. couple more days to come.. still in a dilemma regarding about the Ipod Nano.. should I wait? or shouldn't? TaKe CaRE!! walkingtarts awake and ranted on 9/25/2005 05:20:00 PM
[Kelly Clarkson - Because of You] happen to be playing this song on my playlist while typing out this entry.. suppose to be sleeping now.. kind of got disturbed by certain thoughts in my mind.. am I to be wrong for trusting a person easily?? seldom would I cast a doubt on people.. yet.. I seems to be recieving them from people I trusted.. it doesn't always pay to do a good deed.. end up bitten and stabs.. smeared with blood.. decorated with scars.. sounds quite serious here.. but never to worry about me.. it's a simple thought that suddenly appears.. pessimistic I may be.. at times.. but then.. someone once told me.. I'm quite an optimistic person.. it's an ability that I'm pretty good at.. if I'm to use it in typing.. without come in face to face with.. less pressure.. more space for creativity.. the other side of me.. from my passive self.. walkingtarts awake and ranted on 9/19/2005 11:35:00 PM
[Kelly Clarkson - Because of You] weekend is coming to an end again.. went Malaysia twice yesterday.. lunch at Si Huan.. a.k.a Penggarang.. a sumptuous spread of seafood on our table.. lobsters in thick broil.. black pepper crab.. fried cereal prawns.. teochew styled steamed garoupa.. and many more.. hearty meal.. =D back to Singapore at nearly 5pm.. thinking about the activities for later in the evening.. not really into clubbing.. prefer something more budget.. KST suggested nasi lemak at J.B.. readily agree to that.. went home to take a shower before meeting up with the rest again.. drove in this time round.. went Permas Jaya for the meal.. the rice is really superb.. the amount of coconut milk that is added.. really bring out the taste of the rice.. back home at almost 1.30am.. surprisingly.. my brother and sister were not home yet.. rare cases.. came online till 3am before the tiredness win over.. something new had got into my most wanted list.. Ipod Nano.. hee.. but top of the list still belong to laptop.. Jas wanted to get one too.. hope she can get a good deal from her boss.. as she promise to help me to get one too.. hee.. thanks a lot..!! really looking forward to the coming month.. it's almost like a breakaway for myself.. finally can get rid of a certain burden over my already heavy shoulders.. learnt a lot of things along the road.. found out some of my own characters.. some good.. some bad.. wanted to change.. but need time.. not all the time successful.. sometimes.. it's like an natural reaction to do certain things.. sometimes.. only to regret after doing.. really need to change.. going out soon.. nonetheless.. Congrats to Alan for your registering of marriage.. sorry for not being able to attend.. TaKe CaRE!! walkingtarts awake and ranted on 9/18/2005 06:47:00 PM
[Daniel Powter - Bad Day] am I having a bad day?? hmm.. guess not.. =) perhaps the last weekend was pretty alright overall.. ample of rest.. and better mood.. guess I'm reaching certain yielding point of my physical condition recently.. walking to and back from work become more and more tiring.. time to complete the journey seems to take longer.. getting sleepy earlier than usual.. down with a mild fever.. which I manage to shake it off.. wonder what gets into me?? getting old?? haiz.. hopefully it's a turn for better.. not for the bad.. after a small indulgence shopping spree last weekend.. spending pattern had change for a more conservative approach.. went to meet the usual gang for dinner at Marina Square on Friday.. met Yan Han and Wei Ling by chance while waiting for them to arrive.. had our dinner at VienTai.. don't really satisfied with the food.. feel that we are paying for more than what it should be.. played bowling after that.. noticed a little different between my left and right arms.. after so much of exercising.. particularly tennis and bowling.. right arm become a little bigger.. wonder how to train my left?? =p meet them up again on Saturday evening.. as Heng and I are early.. 2 rounds of coffee at Far East Plaza Ya Kun.. Wee and Mei arrive shortly after.. shopped around for a while before meeting up with Leo, Suz. Adeline, KST and Guo Yao at Plaza Singapura.. went Bugis for the 10th anniversary midnite madness sales.. didn't get anything though.. not a good timing for sales after I spend so much last week.. hehehe.. had our dinner.. or perhaps it's supper at Sketches before going down to Mind Cafe at Selegie.. while a few of them played Monopoly.. Guo Yao, Adeline, KST and me played Pictionary.. quite fun overall.. applied for membership.. since it's an application for lifetime.. unless the wind down the business.. =p anyway.. membership will be renewal on yearly basis for those who applied after this year.. played until 3a.m.. closing time.. pay up and went home.. suppose to meet up my buddies to help Alan to paint his new house.. but woke up late.. felt quite bad for it.. because I probably will missed his ROM next weekend too.. haiz.. might have a tennis session later.. still waiting for their confirmation.. in need for another work out session to sweat.. =D guess it's going to be a busy week coming.. might have to help out the team.. which spells more OT to come.. something I'm quite looking forward to.. at least earning some extra contribution to my newly set up "NST Laptop Fund" =D anyone kind enough to make contribution too?? I promise to be a good boy in the future.. hehe.. =p like I've said.. my desktop is getting cranky again.. don't know when will it become more and more tempremental to fail me.. the thoughts of being handicapped from a computer quite scares me.. but never more than a handphone.. I guess many shared the same point of view too.. when will I see her again? TaKe CaRE!! walkingtarts awake and ranted on 9/11/2005 02:34:00 PM
[Jet - Look What You Have Done] the feeling right now.. damn tired.. stayed back to do some wiring stuffs after work.. manage to complete most of the tasks.. today was quite a relax day though.. there's a celebration going on.. officially getting our pay to play and enjoy.. but there were some trainings after the event.. plus the minor bit rewiring work.. first time working in the office alone.. as everyone.. except for the security guards had went home.. anyway.. finally found one of the song that I'm looking for a long time.. =D Jet - Look What You Have Done Take my photo off the wall If it just won't sing for you Cause all that's left has gone away And there's nothing there for you to prove Oh, look what you've done You've made a fool of everyone Oh well, it seems likes such fun Until you lose what you had won Give me back my point of view Cause I just can't think for you I can hardly hear you say What should I do, well you choose Oh, look what you've done You've made a fool of everyone Oh well, it seems likes such fun Until you lose what you had won Oh, look what you've done You've made a fool of everyone A fool of everyone A fool of everyone Take my photo off the wall If it just won't sing for you Cause all that's left has gone away And there's nothing there for you to do Oh, look what you've done You've made a fool of everyone Oh well, it seems likes such fun Until you lose what you had won Oh, look what you've done You've made a fool of everyone A fool of everyone A fool of everyone a really nice song.. something that is keeps myself calm.. another song by Matchbox 20 is also playing concurrently on my playlist.. Bright Lights.. TaKe CaRE!! walkingtarts awake and ranted on 9/06/2005 11:28:00 PM
[finding comfort in pain..?] hee.. that comes from the lyrics of Tears and Rain by James Blunt.. for weeks.. I'm hooked on this song.. of course with a few others as well.. somehow.. the lyrics make me feel so mesmerised.. so much.. that the tune keeps humming inside my head.. the sense of distrust seems to be heightening of late.. maybe it's something in-built inside human's mind.. in this case.. particularly to the mens.. the bond of friendship.. perhaps.. not really a close one.. for years.. for real.. can be easily shattered by lust.. maybe it's too serious a word to use.. till I think of a better.. being the innocent party.. to be accused of something that is totally outrageous.. deem impossible to happen to oneself.. often left speechless and helpless when thrown upon.. one that I've gone thru some times back.. all but to laugh it off.. damages done.. what is to be done to make amendment.. will never be able to erase it off totally.. Lies.. if you could.. it's an one off experience.. that I would never want to go thru again.. but often.. Life doesn't always agree with your propositions.. this time round.. I felt so tired to make any form of explainations to pacifiy this situation.. as it is my freedom to get to know another person as a friend.. purely.. if gossips and hear- says create or be heard.. and choosen to let your vinegar charged brain to do the thinking.. be it the one who hear or the one who spread.. I'm just one of 2 Millions over mens in this little country.. and never to forget billions out there.. distortions can be amended.. never fully.. but never forget the hatred for the creator.. to bring the unjustified accusation onto one.. perhaps.. this all these never happen.. I wish.. so much for my rantings.. and complainings.. =p work has been well.. tiring yet fruitful.. submitted an application for a short oversea stint.. hope that I can make the cut.. short step taken.. a long road ahead.. clenched up the fists.. and move on.. =) watched Herbie : Fully Loaded last night.. very light heartening movie.. and the sexy Lindsey Lohan.. hee.. drools... =D~~ went Comex again earlier before the movie.. with Leo this time round.. as he need to get a mp3player for his sister.. and his dilemma to purchase iDog.. while mine to purchase a mp3player.. which both of us gave up the idea eventually.. waited for Suz and Mei to join us at Suntec later in the afternoon.. bought 2 tees at TopShop with opinions from the 2 gals.. and also a Abercrombie & Fitch tee.. woohoo!! finally found some place that sells.. it's at one of the Designer Brand Warehouse Sales at Suntec.. =D that makes 4 new tops to be added into my ward- robe.. with the AstroBoy polo tee I got on Thursday.. looks like a little revolution going on.. just minor.. fruitful week in work.. fruitful weekend too.. for once I love the rain to keep me in comfort.. allows sufficient rest before another week begin.. TaKe CaRE!! walkingtarts awake and ranted on 9/04/2005 02:14:00 PM |
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