escaping mundanity & normalcy..

[low..]

currently undergoing a big transistion.. much
bigger than what i expected.. things are so
much different.. and this is only my second
day at work.. back out is not an option at this
early point of time.. experiences is what i need
for this early phase of my life..

initially, i thought i lose my freedom to slack
at home.. but, yesterday.. i realize that i lose
my priviledge to stay up late on weekdays.. this
is something i've been doing for the past few
weeks.. going out to meet friends also need to
consider twice before making a decision..

ironically, i just told someone not to stay down
there ( as in feeling down ) for too long.. the
air up here is fresher.. one of my weird sense of
humour lah.. :p but i'm staying down here right
now.. i just got this ability to give advice to
others even though i'm having my own troubles..
like many other people has said.. this is one of
the character of being the eldest child in the
family.. no matter how unhappy i am.. how bad the
situation i'm facing.. there's this responsibility
to keep a calm surface..

i won't breakdown.. not so easily.. i must not
forget.. my weird sense of optimism.. if not for
this.. i couldn't possible come so far.. should
be able to get out of this mess soon.. must
quickly adjust myself to the new environment..
i can't possibly stay down here for too long..
the fresh air up there will start to miss me..
hehehe.. :p told you..

sometimes i really wish i could throw away some
responsibilities.. but i can't.. i am taught this
way from young.. i've seen the family gone through
bad patches.. now, it's my turn to help up in the
family expenses.. i've already started late.. don't
wish to create anymore trouble..

Monday.. went to the company for induction program
in the morning.. watch some video.. collect my
company pass.. get my letter of employment and some
other stuffs.. took about 2 hours.. went home after
that.. took a nap.. when my mum wake me up for dinner
in the evening.. i mistook it for morning.. jumped
up quickly.. wanted to get changed.. then was told
it's evening.. i'm getting stress..

Tuesday.. my official first day at work.. finding the
correct location for my company transport is really
tiring.. which i don't want to explain further..
okies.. i'm quite a racist.. not those hardcore type
lah.. just that i couldn't stand some.. and now..
i'm surrounded by so many malaysians.. and their
malaysian chinese that they speak.. they are polluting
me.. i'm going crazy..

Wednesday.. Today.. basically doing nothing for
today.. my supervisor is not around as he had to
rush to the plant in Batam last evening.. i am
left to do my own thing the whole day.. attend a
meeting.. which i find nothing much interesting..
well.. how interesting can it be in the first place??
spend the rest of my time walking around.. to the
toilet.. reading files.. falling asleep.. yes..
falling asleep in the office.. i'm too used to
sleep in the afternoon.. hehehe..

hmm.. voiced out quite a lot today.. good or bad..
i don't care loh.. need some place to release the
pent up stress.. feel so much better now.. but will
definitely be much more better if.. if.. if.. er..
hahaha.. don't tell you.. :p

hmm.. update again on Sunday.. hopefully i feel
much better by then.. TaKe CaRE!!

walkingtarts awake and ranted on 6/30/2004 09:37:00 PM

erm.. erm.. erm..